And there it is.

I have had this post on my mind for a month or so but didn't know how to word it. Partly as I don't really know how I feel about it myself. The ‘it’ I speak of is my retirement from pursuing the playing of competitive football.

I'm not posting this asking for sympathy or concern but to explain my decision for those whom I don't see often or won’t have the good fortune to bump into anymore.

また久しぶりのブログです。けっこう長い間、考えていたけどどうやって伝えればいいかなと。皆に伝えたい事は、僕はサッカーをやめます。辞めるに対してみんなの同情を貰いたいつもりでわなくただありがとうございましたを言いたかっただけです。

Debut back in 2007

Family always had my back.

Hong kong memories

 

I have never been the most technical player nor the star of the team, but I have always credited myself with a positive attitude, fighting spirit and a work rate that helped me enjoy the career and experiences I have been rewarded with. But 10 years after I first moved to Japan to pursue my dream I have decided to walk away.

僕は、いつもチームで一番上手い訳ではないし、一番必要な選手ではないけれど自分自身には、絶対に戦える、気持ち強く頑張れる事を自慢しました。この道から始まって１０年、僕は新しい道を進みます。

Where it all started.

First call up for Canada wit da brada

First let me say it wasn't an easy decision.

A footballer is all I've ever really been so its hard to see myself as anything else, but playing the last 8 months at an amateur level I have had to realize the reality that I will never achieve the heights and goals I set myself those years ago. My love for the game will never leave me but my hunger and drive to excel in the game has gone. Without that drive to push myself playing would just be for fun and not to succeed. So that being the case, I didn't want to pull my teammates down as a negative attitude is infectious and therefore I decided to quit Tokyo23 to pursue my life outside of playing football.

簡単な気持ちで選んだのではなく今までサッカーで生きてきたので他の道を選ぶのは怖いです。９ヶ月アマチュアでプレーして、昔夢見ていたプロ選手になるのが難しいと決断しました。サッカー選手として必要な向上心が無くなってしまったのが一番の理由です。チームに迷惑をかけたくないので東京２３FCを辞める事にしました。

Being a defender, as a player and a coach I always believed that success on the pitch wasn't how well a player read the game nor how fast he was, it was more how much he wanted the ball that led to his luck or that allowed him to release his skill. In those 50/50 challenges it's not who’s stronger or faster, it’s who wants it more will win the challenge. I lost the belief in myself and realized I needed to quit before I lose myself.

選手の時も指導者の時も技術ではなく強い気持ちを持った選手が玉際など勝利を引き寄せる選手だと僕は思います。僕にはその自信が無くなったので、自分が自分じゃなくなる前に辞めました。

I believe if you commit 100% and focus all your energy on something we all have the potential to achieve all that we want. But if you would rather sleep, or watch tv or generally be lazy then you are kidding yourself if you think you can reach your goals. The world isn't that nice a place. That being said I wasn't fully committed to playing football anymore so thats why I have left the pursuit of that dream.

100%のエネルギーを使わないと100％のポテンシャルを出す事は出来ない。

手を抜いて夢を手に入れれるほど世界は甘くない。

Lastly and most importantly, a big thank you to all that have stood in support of my dream through the freezing winds of Denmark to the humid Hong Kong days. To those who supported me from my youth days in Japan and all others - thank you for everything.

For me football is an event which I have played, watched and enjoyed through the support of those around who have helped and travelled with me through the ups and downs of the past. Thank you.

僕の夢を今まで応援してきてくれた全ての人たちに感謝したい。

サッカーは、イベントなので選手、スタッフ、サポーター、家族全ての人がいて成り立っている。その全ての人達に感謝したい。

近いうちに次の夢をまた皆に言いたいです。

 Click here to watch The last highlight. 最後のハイライトです。

From today, Hello

From today, Hello.

Long time no write? I recently decided to check this blog that I started 3yrs ago, back in Spain, and noticed people still check, it so I thought it rude not to write something. I always wonder if readers just want photos or actually want to read a little. But if you just want 150 characters check out my twitter and if you just want photos check out my Instagram. Here is my update on the last 3 years since I last wrote.  Thanks to the 13000 people that have checked this out.

久しぶり。久しぶりにブログチェックしてみたらたくさんの人が見てるので何か書けないと悪いと思ったので止めたとこから書きます。写真に興味あるかもしれないけどちょっと書いてみる。日本語を間違えたらすいません。

I abandoned the blog during my time in Hong Kong, a city i fell in love with, and haven't been able to return since. Hong kong is an amazing city with anything and everything but for me the best memories were the group of friends and teammates that took me in and made it feel like a home. There is always something to do, it is always buzzing and it feels is restless. Even though I was only there for 7 months and didn't get to perform my best football, I still have great memories and the city will always be in my heart.

香港に住んでいる時にブロギングやめたんだけど香港は最高な町です。でかい渋谷みたいだし外人が大勢いるし僕みたいなハーフにはすごく住みやすい。けどアジアで外人わくに入るとやっぱプレーのプレシャーをすごく感じた。いつも試合前と試合後　”何でassist かゴール出来ないの？”って聞かれたりして上手くプレーできなかった。毎日がそのプレシャーとの戦いになって香港を去ることに。そして兄きに会いに行くことにした。

After my time in Hong Kong I flew to Australia to spend some time with my brother, who at the time was playing for Brisbane Roar in the australian A-League. He welcomed me into his apartment with his new found australian skill set. It was awesome being able to kick it with him, literally we kicked it. Brisbane let me train with them for a week and training alongside Issey is always something I’ve enjoyed since being knee height. The changing room banter was something strange as it was the first time I understood every word. Yes I speak Japanese and I can speak fairly good Danish but it was the first time to experience understanding every word. I'm sure all expats will agree that understanding everything can be helpful and stress free but also it is nice to be able to switch off and not understand ‘everything’ and live in the bliss of your own imagination.

兄はその時オーストラリアでプレーしていた。兄の家にとまりながらBrisbane Roar の練習に参加した。兄とやるのは最高に楽しい、子供時から変わらずめちゃ楽しい。香港で感じた事を忘れて久しぶりにサッカーを楽しんだ。しかも何年ぶりにchanging roomが英語だったのでめちゃやりやすかった。マリノスの時日本語はまだ全部わかるわけではなかったし、デンマーク語も話せるけど完璧じゃないから久しぶりに言われていることが全部分かるとすごい楽しかった。たまにはわからない方がいい時もあるけどね。

3 months later, I found myself wondering the 3 eastern cities of Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney, making friends and new experiences all along the way. I can't say I have a favorite city, although many people would argue that Melbourne is more like Europe and Sydney is just awesome. And not to insult any of the friends I made, I will say I like them all, but I think Melbourne is more me. The sense of multicultural diversity is something I enjoyed there.

But then it became time for me to think about what I need to do for myself and my career, which I found not exactly being the same thing.

Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydneyに行ってめちゃ楽しかったけどサッカーと自分の人生のことを考えてヨーロッバに帰る事にした。

Back in the beautiful Barcelona and spending sunny days cycling with Dad and stuffing myself with delicious meals by Mum  - it was a troubling time.  Some people who once move out of the house say that it would be impossible to live under ‘the parent’s roof’ again. My parents are epicly awesome so I had no troubles moving back in after almost 7yrs living alone.

バルサロナから香港、オストラリアで一年たった。また久しぶりに親と一緒に住むと楽しくて何もしたくなった。ママの飯とパパの話は最高ですよ。一人暮らしが長いと好きだけど家族との時間は一番だ！ユースの時代からもう７年たったけど帰る時いつも楽しみにしている。もちろん４人で会えることは少ないけど。

So where was i going with my life? I was home again after 7 years. Swimming daily by the beach, cycling fresh air in the mountains, working out in the garden but why?? Asking myself if I want to play in the unfair, irrational world of football? Should I continue my love, hate relationship??

久しぶりに戻ったバルセロナ。海行ったり山でロードレーシングしたり毎日が楽しかったけどサッカーは？ケガが多くて試合でれない時が多くて、それでもまだサッカーしたい？まだサッカー好きか考えてみた。今日はここまで。今日までの残りの２年間についてどう話そうか考えることにする。

I’ll stop with that as a 1 year roundup, and think about how to phrase the following 2 years.

Paris